Just when does relationship begin

Today, Wednesday May 21, I was meeting with my covenant group made up of 6 other pastors. When we gather at a local restaurant, we often spend time talking about what has been our celebrations and our concerns. It is a time also to discuss various issues and ideas about the church and how we can become more effective in how we minister to those around us. This day we began to talk about weddings. We are approaching the time of year that we all have numerous weddings to perform. As we discussed some of the more humorous times that we all had, we began to talk about relationship. One of the members asked the question, just when does marriage or relationship begin? Does it happen only when the couple says before witnesses I do? Or does it happen earlier?
As we began to reflect on marriage as well as relationship, we discussed that is relationship dictated by some sort of outward acknowledgement of something that is already present. I stated that somehow for me it was not the "show" that started the marriage but when the two people made a committed decision to place the other as someone that they value, care about, and want to do what they can to build them up. That the marriage ritual was more of a public action that celebrated--we hope-- this committed decision. In fact for me, the marriage ceremony is more a secular institution today than a religious one. I know that is not true for everyone. I also know that for many people the idea of a conscious committed decision is also not present when a couple marries. The entire group agreed that in too many times that is true and unless the couple matures in their love they may end up in a miserable marriage or divorce. Somehow we need to help those who are wanting to commit themselves to each other to recognize that this commitment is vital and that love is a choice.
This afternoon as I continued to reflect on this discussion I began to think about my relationship with God. God has made the committed choice to be in relationship to me. We in our tradition talk about previenent grace. God has chosen me long before I may be aware of this unmerited grace that is extended to me. God holds me of value even if I don't, cares about me even if I am unaware, and continues to offer me ways of building myself up. This is the covenant that God has written not only on my heart but on the hearts of all creation. The question becomes do I have a relationship with God? Do I hold God of value in my life, do I care what God wants of me, and do I witness to this grace to others to participate in the Kingdom? There are times that I feel more assured and times that I feel that I need to continue to work on this relationship. God is steadfast even when I may not be.
So how can I work on this relationship and how can you? Study, pray, share, continue to grow in your faith, and most of all to thank God for the grace that is extended to you without merit. So to answer the question when does a relationship begin, it began at the very moment of creation and continues in God's creation of each of us.