Who is family

Last Sunday I began to do a series of reflections on family. Yesterday was on who is family based on Matthew 12:46-50. Next week will be on overwhelmed, over committed and underfed. July 19th will be on what are your priorities. And the last Sunday will be on conflict, communication and caring for others.

The key verse from the scripture yesterday was the lasts verse when Jesus says, "For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." I thought that it was appropriate that i start this series both on the Fourth of July weekend and communion Sunday. I believe that when we talk about family we need to remember that all of God's creation is family. I began the message by having one remember their last family gathering. Picture those who are around the kitchen table. Most of the faces would be familiar and would be related to those present by blood relation.

I contrasted that with what families would identify with in Jesus' time. One's identity would not be based on individual or nuclear family ties but on tribal ties. This would give a sense of identity for all members of the immediate family unit and extended family unit. That is why geneology was so important that one could trace back one's relationship to Abram and even to Adam.

The other point I made was that what we say about the ideal family is often an illusion and has nothing to do with reality. There is a new book that has been published called The Marriage Go-round. The authors point out that in the U.S. more people marry than anywhere else in the world. At the same time, we have the highest divorce rate in the world. Some of this may be based on the idea that we emphasize individualism more than we ever do community. So if my needs are not being met, I will leave the marriage. Also 60-70% of children born through their 18th birthday will spend some significant time in a single-parent family. More families are homeless or one pay check away from being homeless. Another interesting concept is that the fastest growing population is those who are 75 years and older.

I believe this reality affects what we are to do as a church. I believe we need to emphasize what Jesus said about the inclusivity of family being anyone who does the will of God. The church needs to offer an alternative to the individualism that is rampant in our society and offer communion with one another and especially with the stranger. Family activities need to look at ways that we can incorporate all differing families. Jesus invited all of us to his table that he set. Who do we invite?