Tuesday Musing 12/25/2018

Merry Christmas

                I want to wish all that I know a Merry Christmas on this day. I also want to wish everyone Happy Holidays. For you see it is both. It is more than just birth of Christ it also is God so caring that he would come to this world for you and me. And it continues today through the love that was given as a free gift though communities of faith, family and friends. What began at the very creation of the world continues to happen with us today. Love, Joy, Peace or Shalom, and Hope continues to be the story of Christmas for us, no matter what we have done. So we extend our Christmas in the acts we do today emulating our savior whose birth we are celebrating today. BTW, I do not get too excited about saying happy holidays for indeed they are for many people. This is not attacking Christianity. Unfortunately, our behavior as Christians at times are the attack on the, as Pastor Craig Finnestad preached on Christmas Eve, grace and truth of Jesus. My prayer is that today while we spend time with one another wherever that may be, we continue to live out the Christmas message every day throughout the year.

                This is my first Christmas as a retired pastor. I am still trying to figure out this thing called retirement. It has been almost six months and so far, I have not driven Nancy crazy. Nancy and I have joined the Water’s Edge UMC church in Omaha. We are part of life group. We also volunteer for church and some around the community. It is different that I am not busy planning services or feeling obligated to attend church services. This is something freeing about the idea of doing things because we choose to do so.

                I had thought I would be writing about the life of a retired pastor and social worker, but I am still trying to work that out as to what it is. I was asked to preach at Water’s Edge, Nancy and I serve communion, we are leaders of our life group, and I will be doing a wedding in May of 2019. Not quite the schedule I used to have, but still interesting. I have also been doing more gaming, particularly board games and RPG with my family and with my son’s friends. What I am contemplating is doing a Tuesday musing starting today. Thoughts maybe random about what I am experiencing and sharing opinions about life. I will try to not become too political though it is impossible not to note what is happening both in our nation and around the world does not affect our lives today. The next blog entry will be January 1^st, 2019. I wonder what lies ahead in this new age of life.

Shalom

Eldon

Continuing thoughts

I want to continue to reflect on some of the learnings I have had over the years. This is a continuation of what I started with my first post. If you have not read that, you can catch it either at the Facebook page of Elkhorn Valley or on my blog at reveldon.blogspot.com. I wanted to share three more insight that I have had this month which is post-Easter. You can feel free to add your thoughts either on the Facebook page or my blog. I would be curious if you find the thoughts helpful for you and maybe ideas of how this could be applied to the church. Anyway, here goes.

The one insight which continues to be debated in our society and even in churches is how to respond to violence. Many advocate for the concept of preventative violence to counter the fear of further violence. Sometimes this becomes so heated that we move away from what Jesus says about violence and what Paul says using scripture from the Hebrew scriptures. Jesus in the gospel of Matthew in the Sermon on the Mount chapter 5:38-42 discusses that when one strikes you that you should not retaliate in the same manner. He goes on to say in 5:43-48 to love unconditionally even one’s enemies. Paul using Proverbs 25:21-22 speaks of not returning evil for evil in Romans 12:18-21. “Don’t be defeated by evil but defeat evil with good.” Throughout history violence usually begets violence. We struggle in our own lives as to how to live true to what Jesus and Paul talks about and yet not be anxious or fearful. I am not sure I have the answer. There are several concerns regarding this issue and it is more than 2^nd Amendment rights. It is more than gun control or extensive background checks. It is more than mental illness. It is all of these and more about where is the line between individual rights and the rights of society to live without fear of another massacre or to go about peacefully without anxiety.

Another reflection deals with the tension between individual rights and wisdom and the collective rights and wisdom. Many have talked about the issues of individualism and collectivism. Robert Putman wrote in “Bowling Alone,” about the changes that appear to be happening in our society regarding the shift to more individualistic thinking and acting. Perhaps this is not so new as the debate in church has centered on individual salvation versus salvation for a people. Amitai Etzioni wrote a book on “The New Golden Rule: Community and Morality in a Democratic Society.” His focus is on the need for community rather than the focus on individualism. Either extreme of this continuum is problematic. Individualism in the extreme can be if it feels good go ahead and do it thinking. It becomes all about the person regardless of the effect on others. It is self-centered. It can become at the extreme, narcissism. Our disengaged society seems to be present in many areas of church, nation, and the world. The other extreme is the collective. This can lead to group think. One must conform to the group identity. These groups have rigid boundaries and often spend time scapegoating those who are different then they are. These can be cults and extremists. Healthy relationships are somewhere between the extremes where there is a healthy sense of self and caring for others.

The last insight for this time is that there are no failures only learnings. The key to this is learning. So many times, people or churches do the same thing over and over expecting something different to happen. The thought is that this time it will work only to find out that nothing changes. So even though we found ways that it did not work, are we learning? I spend time thinking about what has not worked for me and I have found in my life that I have lost sight of why I am doing what I do. I believe the focus on our lives, the life of the church, and even in our community needs to have a better understanding of the why. Why leads us to what is my and our mission in this time and place. When we can see the why, the vision of what we are doing becomes clearer. When the why and vision are aligned, the how becomes more evident. It seems that at times we want to short cut the work of finding the why and go to the how we are going to do what we want to do. It seems the idea of doing the same thing over and over without the learning what is needed will not make a difference or lead to change. Or we try to do things without reflecting on why we are doing this. it is not a question of doing things just because others are doing this. It is about first spending time processing the why and the how and what will follow.

Thoughts from my experiences as a DS, pastor, and social worker: Eldon Davis

                I thought I would spend the next months sharing with you some insights that I have had with my experiences working with individuals, families, and churches. These insights have come about over the last 30 years of working in mental health clinics, teaching at college, being a pastor of various churches mostly rural, and in supervising other pastors and churches. I don’t know if any of these will be helpful in your journey either as clergy or lay but I offer them to you. I originally thought about doing this as a top ten list but realized as I was writing notes that there is no definite order or priority to them. I hope to offer 3 a month and then in the last month any final thoughts I have regarding my upcoming retirement and journey of serving God and neighbor.

                The very first idea I had was the number of times both as a therapist and pastor people wanted to change the behavior of someone else. Parents would come to me wanting me to change the behavior of their children yet were unwilling to look at their own behavior. The same can be said of churches that are wanting quick fixes that do not require change on their own part. Paul in Romans 12:2 states, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” In the book “Canoeing the Mountains”, the author states that to be able to move forward in life you first must transform yourself before any other transformation can occur. My experience of working with families convinced me that one cannot change the behavior of another only God can. One of my professors in seminary would state we cannot save others, even ourselves. Only Christ has that power. Yet, I often experienced people trying to change others through pleading, begging, manipulation, fear, or coercion. None of these lead to any lasting change or even in any change at all. To bring about change requires the willingness to change the way we act, think, or believe. Paul is right that for us to know God’s Will we need to be transformed.

                A corollary to the above is this. If you truly believe something, then be willing to act on it. In the letter from James, “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (2:17). My experience has been that people with good intentions and beliefs will often wait for others to do something or someone else to take charge or even bail them out. James reminds us that unless we act than our faith is not evident to anyone else. Ghandi was supposed to have said, “You must the change that you would like to see. “Jesus puts it this way, “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. (Matthew 7:12)” How often we let our judgments and bias focus us. Today, it seems that more time is spent on denigrating others rather than treating others like we would want to be treated. To live out our faith should be to live as Christ-like as we can. There have been so many examples of such treatment of others especially if one disagrees to even begin to count. Rather than jumping on the bandwagon criticism, take time to think would you like to be treated in the way others are being discounted for their beliefs?

                A final thought for this month is truth is not found on Facebook or Twitter. The talk of fake news prevails in our society and social media is the greatest purveyor of fake news. As Pontius Pilate asked of Jesus, “What is truth?” Jesus did not refer him to his Facebook page or spend 140 characters to describe his version of truth. I sometimes despair when I read what people repost from others. Regardless of right or left, people seem to buy into others and not even express their own ideas. And to top that off, spend no time fact checking the information which often is lies and prejudiced opinions with no basis of reality. One cannot argue with those who post such trivia as the above statements. Proverbs 26:4-5 says, “4Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him. 5Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes.” Seemingly contradicting statements, what is being conveyed is that there are times you waste your time arguing about who is correct and then there are times to stand up for your beliefs. Wisdom is knowing when to do what. Regardless, stand up for your beliefs as founded on your informed interpretation of scripture, the traditions of the church, your experiences that you have seen or learned, and most of all taking to time to reason your thoughts and being open to continued learning.

                Enough for this month. I will continue to share my reflections of the life of a social worker, pastor, and district superintendent next month.

Eldon