I had time to think about what I was going to preach about and decided to look at what I did 3 years ago. Can you believe that I preached on the same scriptures and used some of the same call to worship and prayers. Needless to say I revamped what I was thinking. I still wanted to preach on Wisdom and particularly focusing on leadership. I have been preaching on what it means to be church and spent time Sunday talking about Pentecost and how that can inform us about what church might mean for us. I thought Wisdom would be a great follow up to that. So instead of Proverbs 8, I am going to use scripture from the Wisdom of Solomon 6:12-25.
If you are wondering where in the Bible is the Wisdom of Solomon, you will have to have either a bible with the Apocrypha or a Roman Catholic bible. The book was not written by Solomon and appears to have been written close to the time that Jesus was born in the 1st century BCE. There is a great deal of Greek influence in the writing that differs from most of the Hebrew Testament. If you have the time, the entire book is interesting as is Sirach another book in the Apocrypha that speaks of Wisdom.
I have been reading Walter Bruegemann's newest book about Journey to the Common Good. He presents Solomon not as a person who truly desired Wisdom for the common good but rather desired wealth and power by exploiting workers to build the temple. Often conscripting forced labor much like the Pharaoh did to the Israelites in Egypt. So to speak of Wisdom and Leadership King Solomon would not be the example that we would want to follow.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday
Here it is Monday once again and the cycle of life continues. I start each Monday with reading scripture and a prayer as I begin to process what next Sunday will bring and what the rest of the week looks like. I currently am in the between times. I will be moving at the end of June to Ainsworth which is about 205 miles from Omaha in the North Central part of Nebraska not far from the South Dakota border. As a result I am living in the chaos of boxes. Nancy and I are trying to sort through all of the things that we have accumulated. We have decided to try to eliminate, share, or sell what we have not used or even looked at in the last 4-6 years. We have taken a number of boxes of books to the half price book store to sell. The problem is that I have a hard time going to a book store and leaving empty handed. The good thing is that even if I purchase a book, I still leave with fewer than what I came in with.
This Sunday as I prepare for the worship service, there a number of ways that I could reflect on. The first is that this Sunday is Memorial weekend. There is a time that we need to remember those who gave of their lives for our freedom. It is also a time that we need to remember the One who gave his life for our life eternal. It is also Trinity Sunday and Peace with Justice Sunday.
The scripture is Proverbs 8, Psalm 8, Romans 5:1-5, and John 16:12-15. During seminary I did a video of a sermon on Proverbs 8 and I found that passage to be insightful for me. Though I will not preach the same sermon today, I am going to preach from Proverbs 8. The lection is Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31. I am going to use the entire chapter. I would suggest that readers look it up and particularly from The Message.
The question is how are we to live wisely? To what do we depend on? I sometimes think I focus on similar topics so often but it is amazing that Scripture continues in its entirety to point to a way of living our lives in a way that is simpler and less anxious. We seem to go out of our way to make it more difficult. So how would you answer the question. let me know.
This Sunday as I prepare for the worship service, there a number of ways that I could reflect on. The first is that this Sunday is Memorial weekend. There is a time that we need to remember those who gave of their lives for our freedom. It is also a time that we need to remember the One who gave his life for our life eternal. It is also Trinity Sunday and Peace with Justice Sunday.
The scripture is Proverbs 8, Psalm 8, Romans 5:1-5, and John 16:12-15. During seminary I did a video of a sermon on Proverbs 8 and I found that passage to be insightful for me. Though I will not preach the same sermon today, I am going to preach from Proverbs 8. The lection is Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31. I am going to use the entire chapter. I would suggest that readers look it up and particularly from The Message.
The question is how are we to live wisely? To what do we depend on? I sometimes think I focus on similar topics so often but it is amazing that Scripture continues in its entirety to point to a way of living our lives in a way that is simpler and less anxious. We seem to go out of our way to make it more difficult. So how would you answer the question. let me know.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday morning
Every week I get an email from Scott called serving strong. It is aimed at those who work with others. I have not commented on his newsletter for awhile but this week's struck me especially as I am busy packing and trying to work on the bulletin and sermon and visits and and and. So read it and see if it might help in your life to develop these four habits.
Four Habits
Many of you are new to the Serving Strong PowerMail service. And those of you who have been subscribers for a while may also benefit from this week's issue.
If you hang around Serving Strong very long, you will hear about the "Four Habits". These are habits adopted by people who desire to be effective and to finish strong in their chosen "people-focused" field.
I will briefly describe the four habits in this issue and go into more depth throughout future issues. Here we go.
SPIN. You spin plates in your life. Plates include marriage, finances, spiritual life, parenting, relationships, personal order, etc. It's easy to get so focused on one plate, the others suffer. It's also easy to commit to too many plates at once. Good spin = maintaining appropriate plates with appropriate attention.
SWING. You were born into a world full of rhythm. The sun rises. The sun sets. You wake up. You go to sleep. Everywhere you look, rhythm is a part of your world. Similarly, you are more effective when you go in rhythm from rest to work, like on a pendulum swing, back and forth. Good swing = going full out in your work AND taking time to go full in for rest..
ALIGN. God created you like no other person. When you honor your uniqueness in your life and work you spend the right amount of energy. This leaves you exhausted in a good way. However, when you are working outside your uniqueness you spend more energy than necessary, leaving you fatigued in a bad way. Good alignment = spending 80 percent of your waking hours engaged in what honors your passion, personality, and proficiency (skills).
CENTER. This is the most pivotal habit of the four. It is the habit that puts the other three in perspective. It gives wisdom in selecting which plates to spin, when to swing, and when to stay with (or step outside) our alignment. Centering is the act of submission to God and His mysterious will. We do not have all the answers. So, good centering = a perpetual posture of brokenness and dependency on God.
How is your Spin? Your Swing? Your Align? And your Center? This week, evaluate your life based on the bold statements above.
Four Habits
Many of you are new to the Serving Strong PowerMail service. And those of you who have been subscribers for a while may also benefit from this week's issue.
If you hang around Serving Strong very long, you will hear about the "Four Habits". These are habits adopted by people who desire to be effective and to finish strong in their chosen "people-focused" field.
I will briefly describe the four habits in this issue and go into more depth throughout future issues. Here we go.
SPIN. You spin plates in your life. Plates include marriage, finances, spiritual life, parenting, relationships, personal order, etc. It's easy to get so focused on one plate, the others suffer. It's also easy to commit to too many plates at once. Good spin = maintaining appropriate plates with appropriate attention.
SWING. You were born into a world full of rhythm. The sun rises. The sun sets. You wake up. You go to sleep. Everywhere you look, rhythm is a part of your world. Similarly, you are more effective when you go in rhythm from rest to work, like on a pendulum swing, back and forth. Good swing = going full out in your work AND taking time to go full in for rest..
ALIGN. God created you like no other person. When you honor your uniqueness in your life and work you spend the right amount of energy. This leaves you exhausted in a good way. However, when you are working outside your uniqueness you spend more energy than necessary, leaving you fatigued in a bad way. Good alignment = spending 80 percent of your waking hours engaged in what honors your passion, personality, and proficiency (skills).
CENTER. This is the most pivotal habit of the four. It is the habit that puts the other three in perspective. It gives wisdom in selecting which plates to spin, when to swing, and when to stay with (or step outside) our alignment. Centering is the act of submission to God and His mysterious will. We do not have all the answers. So, good centering = a perpetual posture of brokenness and dependency on God.
How is your Spin? Your Swing? Your Align? And your Center? This week, evaluate your life based on the bold statements above.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday musings
Here I am once again at my blog. Nancy and I were just interviewed by a reporter from the Papillion Times to be included in the Springfield News. As we were talking, it did give me a time to reflect on our church and some of the activities that have happened since we arrived. And not just the church but also the work at the library and in the community. There has been some great times and activities and people that we will miss as we begin our new journey in Ainsworth. It is a time of mixed feelings. The sadness of moving and leaving behind family and friends. There is also the anticipation of new challenges and work that God has set before us.
I am reminded of the vows that I took as an Elder in the church. I agreed to be willing to itinerate. So that means that I agree to go where the bishop sends me. Every time that I have moved I have found that God's ministry is present. Last Sunday I preached about trusting and having faith in Christ. It is in that we have our salvation. I humorously suggested that talk shows like Oprah or Dr. Phil will not provide the path of salvation. But neither does membership in a church, status as an elder, or any other position in the local church or general church. It is through what Jesus has done that salvation comes about. And that is extended to all of God's creation whether believed or not.
This Sunday is Pentecost. 50 days following the Passover. Often this is celebrated as the birth of the church. Actually it is the coming of the Holy Spirit that directs the disciples to leave their upper room and to go out into the world as Jesus commissioned them to do. So as we celebrate the coming of the Spirit, I would pray that we would remember that church is more than a building but is a people who have a task to do.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Thursday
I finished the book Change the World: Recovering the Message and Mission of Jesus by Mike Slaughter. I have to say it was one of the most inspiring books that I have read in a long time. To give a hint the chapters include, Something's not working, Missional vs. Attractional, Inclusive vs Exclusive, Disciples vs. Decisions, Micro vs. Macro, Multiplication vs. Expansion, Mission vs. Mortar, and Courage vs. Compliance. To give a feel for what he has to say I did link his trailer earlier in my blog about this book. I have underlined, tabbed, and written notes throughout the book. What I find challenging is the emphasis less on doing church in a building and doing church in the world.
We often look at some of the mega churches particularly in the United Methodist tradition but also in other traditions that have reached more than 1000 up to 10,000. There is a need for people to hear the Word but are they truly becoming committed disciples. Also from my experience most of these churches are found in areas where there is an increase in population and also there is economic affluence. An example close to Nebraska is the Church of the Resurrection. Adam Hamilton has done a great job of building the church to become one of the largest churches in the United Methodist. Yet, COR is in one of the fastest growing and richest areas of Kansas City metro area. I even see that in Nebraska with the largest churches located in the growing edges of the state and the most high economic levels. While that is not wrong as those who are well to do need to hear the Word as much as others, there is a difference in what Mike Slaughter has done which may be more applicable to many churches particularly inner-city and even rural-urban settings.
Mike is the lead pastor of Ginghamsburg United Methodist Church in Tipp City, Ohio. The church is located 30 miles from Dayton which recently was known as one of the fastest dying cities in the US. Yet, by his dedication to being the hands and feet of Jesus, he has developed committed disciples who go out into the world serving those in need locally and throughout the world. His congregation grew from 100 to now over 5000 in an area that most church planters would say would be a waste of resources.
Mike "presents seven choices pastors [and I believe every church must answer] as we consider the future of the church. Will you focus on building disicples or tallying decisions? Will you multiply your impact or expand your facilities? Will you step out in courage or comply with the status quo? Will you focus on mission or will you seek to only attract? Your answers to these and other questions determine how your church will focus its time, its energy, and its budget to work for real change in a hurting world."
I plan to reflect on some of the key parts of the book in the future. I am also reading another book by Walter Brueggemann, "Journey to the Common Good." From what I have read so far it too is a good book to look at what it takes to let go of the anxiety and consumerism of this world and focus on what is needed for the common good of all people. He uses the stories from Exodus, Jeremiah, and Isaiah to make his points.
We often look at some of the mega churches particularly in the United Methodist tradition but also in other traditions that have reached more than 1000 up to 10,000. There is a need for people to hear the Word but are they truly becoming committed disciples. Also from my experience most of these churches are found in areas where there is an increase in population and also there is economic affluence. An example close to Nebraska is the Church of the Resurrection. Adam Hamilton has done a great job of building the church to become one of the largest churches in the United Methodist. Yet, COR is in one of the fastest growing and richest areas of Kansas City metro area. I even see that in Nebraska with the largest churches located in the growing edges of the state and the most high economic levels. While that is not wrong as those who are well to do need to hear the Word as much as others, there is a difference in what Mike Slaughter has done which may be more applicable to many churches particularly inner-city and even rural-urban settings.
Mike is the lead pastor of Ginghamsburg United Methodist Church in Tipp City, Ohio. The church is located 30 miles from Dayton which recently was known as one of the fastest dying cities in the US. Yet, by his dedication to being the hands and feet of Jesus, he has developed committed disciples who go out into the world serving those in need locally and throughout the world. His congregation grew from 100 to now over 5000 in an area that most church planters would say would be a waste of resources.
Mike "presents seven choices pastors [and I believe every church must answer] as we consider the future of the church. Will you focus on building disicples or tallying decisions? Will you multiply your impact or expand your facilities? Will you step out in courage or comply with the status quo? Will you focus on mission or will you seek to only attract? Your answers to these and other questions determine how your church will focus its time, its energy, and its budget to work for real change in a hurting world."
I plan to reflect on some of the key parts of the book in the future. I am also reading another book by Walter Brueggemann, "Journey to the Common Good." From what I have read so far it too is a good book to look at what it takes to let go of the anxiety and consumerism of this world and focus on what is needed for the common good of all people. He uses the stories from Exodus, Jeremiah, and Isaiah to make his points.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday morning reflections
Even though Sunday is the start of the week, I have always felt and particularly since being a pastor that Sunday ends a week of reflection, contemplation, and now a time of exhortation. Monday then becomes the start of the process as I prepare for the next week and especially as I begin to pray and reflect on the coming worship services.
Monday is the time that I begin the process of reading the scriptures that I have focused on. Often when I am doing a sermon series and have chosen the scriptures long in advance, I want to refresh myself and spend time once again reflecting on what is God saying to me today that may be different than when I first choose the passage. I do the same when I preach from the lectionary. Usually with the music director and praise band leader, we look at scriptures over a two to three month basis. Sometimes it is not that long of time and at times when something happens in the life of the church, I may change what I will be preaching.
Monday is the time that I commit to themes and solidifying them for Sunday. Again this can be influenced by what I feel that God is saying to me through prayer, scripture, and through other readings. For instance, this coming Sunday I will be focusing on two scriptures from the lectionary, Acts 16:16-34 and John 17:20-26. In the last few weeks, I have been reflecting on what it means to live the life that Christ calls us to do. I have read several articles and will be reading some recent books about rediscovering the mission Jesus calls us to do. One that I am currently reading is by Mike Slaughter titled "Change the World." I am still in the process of reading this but what struck me and will be a reflection is whether we are to be missional evangelists or attractional evangelists. According to what Slaughter states Jesus was not interested in attracting people but in having his disciples go out into the world. Church is not about attracting people into the church but equipping the church to go into the world to make disciples. As he states and I paraphrase the church's purpose is not to make casual observers but committed disciples.
As I read that and reflect on that and how that can inform the reading particularly in Acts, I am moved by what Paul and Silas were willing to do. They did not stay safely in the synagogue, they were not trying to get people in church, they were willing to go out into the world to proclaim the living gospel of Christ in acts of healing, preaching, and praising in the most difficult and trying situations.
Monday is the time that I begin the process of reading the scriptures that I have focused on. Often when I am doing a sermon series and have chosen the scriptures long in advance, I want to refresh myself and spend time once again reflecting on what is God saying to me today that may be different than when I first choose the passage. I do the same when I preach from the lectionary. Usually with the music director and praise band leader, we look at scriptures over a two to three month basis. Sometimes it is not that long of time and at times when something happens in the life of the church, I may change what I will be preaching.
Monday is the time that I commit to themes and solidifying them for Sunday. Again this can be influenced by what I feel that God is saying to me through prayer, scripture, and through other readings. For instance, this coming Sunday I will be focusing on two scriptures from the lectionary, Acts 16:16-34 and John 17:20-26. In the last few weeks, I have been reflecting on what it means to live the life that Christ calls us to do. I have read several articles and will be reading some recent books about rediscovering the mission Jesus calls us to do. One that I am currently reading is by Mike Slaughter titled "Change the World." I am still in the process of reading this but what struck me and will be a reflection is whether we are to be missional evangelists or attractional evangelists. According to what Slaughter states Jesus was not interested in attracting people but in having his disciples go out into the world. Church is not about attracting people into the church but equipping the church to go into the world to make disciples. As he states and I paraphrase the church's purpose is not to make casual observers but committed disciples.
As I read that and reflect on that and how that can inform the reading particularly in Acts, I am moved by what Paul and Silas were willing to do. They did not stay safely in the synagogue, they were not trying to get people in church, they were willing to go out into the world to proclaim the living gospel of Christ in acts of healing, preaching, and praising in the most difficult and trying situations.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Mother's Day 4
I listed some things moms never say so I decided to list some of what many have heard. Read it for enjoyment knowing that our mothers were concerned for us and for many of us helped form who we are today. I got these off the internet. Thank you mom.
MOMISM
Mothers are the sweetest part of our lives. They are the person who is the most concerned about us throughout their lives. They not only shower their blessings upon us but also fully exercise their right to scold us. Of course the reason behind their doing so is again our betterment and they are only interested in making us better human beings and successful personalities. Still whatever they say seems so very musical to our ears. Is not it? Check it yourself.
Modern Mothers Sayings
Money does not grow on trees.
When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident.
Do not make that face or it will freeze in that position.
Be careful or you will put your eye out.
What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
If you cannot say something nice, do not say anything at all.
Do not put that in your mouth; you do not know where it has been!
Traditional Mothers Sayings
A little "birdy" told me!
All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
Are you deaf or something?
Are you lying to me?
As long as you live under my roof, you will do as I say.
Beds are not made for jumping on.
Call me when you get there, just so I know you are okay.
Close the door! You do not live in a barn.
Did you brush your teeth?
Did you comb your hair?
Do as I say, not as I do.
Do you think I am made of money?
Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
Do not break your arm patting yourself on the back.
Do not eat that, you will get worms!
Do not go out with a wet head, you will catch cold.
Do not make me get up!
Do not pick that scab it will get infected.
Do not pick your nose in public.
Do not run in the house.
Do not sit too close to the television; it will ruin your eyes.
Do not talk with your mouth full!
Do not walk away when I am talking to you!
Eat your vegetables; they are good for you.
Enough is enough!
Go play outside! It is a beautiful day!
Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
Going to a party? Who is going to be there?
Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
How do you know you do not like it if you have not tasted it?
I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
I cannot believe you can sleep in this filth!
I did not ask who put it there; I said, "Pick it up!"
I do not care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing.
I do not have to explain myself. I said no.
I hope someday you have children just like you.
I just want what is best for you.
I will always love you - no matter what.
If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there!
If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
If wishes were horses...
If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
If you do not do it now, then when are you going to do it?
If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.
If you are too sick to go to school, you are too sick to play outside.
I am doing this for your own good.
I am going to skin you alive!
I am not going to ask you again.
I am not your cleaning lady!
I am not your waitress!
Is not it past your bedtime?
It is not that I do not trust you, it is that I do not trust everyone else.
Life is not fair.
Look at me when I am talking to you.
Money does NOT grow on trees.
No child of mine would do something like that.
Nobody asked you
Over my dead body!
Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
Pick up your feet.
Put that down! You do not know where it has been!
Say that again and I will wash your mouth out with soap.
Shut the door! I am not heating (air conditioning) the entire neighborhood!
Shut your mouth and eat.
So it is raining? You are not sugar - you would not melt.
So what if Bob's mom let him do it? If Bob's mom let him jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
Someone is going to end up crying.
This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Turn that racket (music) down!
Watch your mouth!
Well, I have not figured out how to cook "cold" yet.
Well, people in Hell want ice water too!
What did I say the first time?
What part of no do not you understand?
When I was a little girl...
When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
When will you be back?
Where do you think you are going?
Who died and left you boss?
Who do you think you are talking to?
Who taught you that? You did not learn that in this house!
Wipe your feet!
You cannot find it? Well, I cannot find it for you - I did not wear it!
You cannot find it? Well, if you would put things where they belonged, you would not have this problem.
You cannot find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
You cannot start the day on an empty stomach.
You do not always get what you want. It is a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
You must think rules are made to be broken.
You would not be happy until you break that, will you?
You will understand when you are older.
A little soap & water never killed anybody.
Answer me when I ask you a question!
Are you going out dressed like that?
Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself!
Be good.
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
Clean up after yourself!
Cupcakes are not a breakfast food!
Did you clean your room?
Did you flush?
Do you live to annoy me?
Do you think this is a hotel? You cannot just come here only to sleep.
Do not ask me why. The answer is NO.
Do not ever let me catch you doing that again!
Do not make me come in there!
Do not put that in your mouth, you do not know where it has been.
Do not run with a lollipop in your mouth.
Do not stay up too late!
Do not use that tone with me!
Do not you have anything better to do?
Go ask your father.
Go to your room and think about what you did!
How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
How many times do I have to tell you?
I can always tell when you are lying.
I cannot believe you did that!
I do not buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
I do not care who started it, I said stop!
I do not care who started it you stop it!
I do not know is not an answer.
I hope you do not kiss me with that mouth!
I said CLOSE the door, I did not say slam it.
I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
If I catch you doing that one more time, I will...
If I want your opinion I will ask for it!
If I have told you once ... I have told you a thousand times.
If you do not clean your plate, you would not get any dessert.
If you do not stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!
If you are too full to finish your dinner, you are too full for dessert.
I will treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
I am going to give you until the count of three...
I am not always going to be around to do these things for you.
I am not running a taxi service.
I am not your maid!
Is your homework finished?
It is no use crying over spilt milk.
I have had it up to here with you.
Leave your sister (brother) alone!
Little pitchers have big ears.
Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
Never try on anyone else's glasses or you will go blind.
No, I do not know where your socks are; it is not my day to watch them!
Now, come back downstairs and go back up without stomping your feet!
Now, say you are sorry...and mean it!
Running away? Do not let the door hit you in the rear.
Running away? I will help you pack.
Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!!
The apple does not fall far from the tree.
Think of those poor starving children in India... (or China, or Africa.)
Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
Watch your language!
Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a pitcher?
What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
When did your last slave die?
When you have kids of your own you will understand.
Where are you going?
Who are you going with? Do I know them?
Who do you think you are?
Who said life was going to be easy?
Why? Because I said so, that is why!
You are getting on my last nerve.
You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
You can go out to play...after you have done your homework.
You cannot judge a book by its cover.
You could have called.
You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
You just ate an hour ago!
You made your bed, now lie in it.
You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
You will eat it, and you will like it!
You would forget your head if it was not attached to your shoulders!
You will always be my baby.
Your father is going to hear about this when he gets home!
You are the oldest. You should know better.
The last one was special as I was an only child but thought maybe once in awhile my imaginary friend would be accountable.
MOMISM
Mothers are the sweetest part of our lives. They are the person who is the most concerned about us throughout their lives. They not only shower their blessings upon us but also fully exercise their right to scold us. Of course the reason behind their doing so is again our betterment and they are only interested in making us better human beings and successful personalities. Still whatever they say seems so very musical to our ears. Is not it? Check it yourself.
Modern Mothers Sayings
Money does not grow on trees.
When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident.
Do not make that face or it will freeze in that position.
Be careful or you will put your eye out.
What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
If you cannot say something nice, do not say anything at all.
Do not put that in your mouth; you do not know where it has been!
Traditional Mothers Sayings
A little "birdy" told me!
All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
Are you deaf or something?
Are you lying to me?
As long as you live under my roof, you will do as I say.
Beds are not made for jumping on.
Call me when you get there, just so I know you are okay.
Close the door! You do not live in a barn.
Did you brush your teeth?
Did you comb your hair?
Do as I say, not as I do.
Do you think I am made of money?
Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
Do not break your arm patting yourself on the back.
Do not eat that, you will get worms!
Do not go out with a wet head, you will catch cold.
Do not make me get up!
Do not pick that scab it will get infected.
Do not pick your nose in public.
Do not run in the house.
Do not sit too close to the television; it will ruin your eyes.
Do not talk with your mouth full!
Do not walk away when I am talking to you!
Eat your vegetables; they are good for you.
Enough is enough!
Go play outside! It is a beautiful day!
Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
Going to a party? Who is going to be there?
Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
How do you know you do not like it if you have not tasted it?
I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
I cannot believe you can sleep in this filth!
I did not ask who put it there; I said, "Pick it up!"
I do not care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing.
I do not have to explain myself. I said no.
I hope someday you have children just like you.
I just want what is best for you.
I will always love you - no matter what.
If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there!
If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
If wishes were horses...
If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
If you do not do it now, then when are you going to do it?
If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.
If you are too sick to go to school, you are too sick to play outside.
I am doing this for your own good.
I am going to skin you alive!
I am not going to ask you again.
I am not your cleaning lady!
I am not your waitress!
Is not it past your bedtime?
It is not that I do not trust you, it is that I do not trust everyone else.
Life is not fair.
Look at me when I am talking to you.
Money does NOT grow on trees.
No child of mine would do something like that.
Nobody asked you
Over my dead body!
Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
Pick up your feet.
Put that down! You do not know where it has been!
Say that again and I will wash your mouth out with soap.
Shut the door! I am not heating (air conditioning) the entire neighborhood!
Shut your mouth and eat.
So it is raining? You are not sugar - you would not melt.
So what if Bob's mom let him do it? If Bob's mom let him jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
Someone is going to end up crying.
This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Turn that racket (music) down!
Watch your mouth!
Well, I have not figured out how to cook "cold" yet.
Well, people in Hell want ice water too!
What did I say the first time?
What part of no do not you understand?
When I was a little girl...
When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
When will you be back?
Where do you think you are going?
Who died and left you boss?
Who do you think you are talking to?
Who taught you that? You did not learn that in this house!
Wipe your feet!
You cannot find it? Well, I cannot find it for you - I did not wear it!
You cannot find it? Well, if you would put things where they belonged, you would not have this problem.
You cannot find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
You cannot start the day on an empty stomach.
You do not always get what you want. It is a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
You must think rules are made to be broken.
You would not be happy until you break that, will you?
You will understand when you are older.
A little soap & water never killed anybody.
Answer me when I ask you a question!
Are you going out dressed like that?
Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself!
Be good.
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
Clean up after yourself!
Cupcakes are not a breakfast food!
Did you clean your room?
Did you flush?
Do you live to annoy me?
Do you think this is a hotel? You cannot just come here only to sleep.
Do not ask me why. The answer is NO.
Do not ever let me catch you doing that again!
Do not make me come in there!
Do not put that in your mouth, you do not know where it has been.
Do not run with a lollipop in your mouth.
Do not stay up too late!
Do not use that tone with me!
Do not you have anything better to do?
Go ask your father.
Go to your room and think about what you did!
How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
How many times do I have to tell you?
I can always tell when you are lying.
I cannot believe you did that!
I do not buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
I do not care who started it, I said stop!
I do not care who started it you stop it!
I do not know is not an answer.
I hope you do not kiss me with that mouth!
I said CLOSE the door, I did not say slam it.
I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
If I catch you doing that one more time, I will...
If I want your opinion I will ask for it!
If I have told you once ... I have told you a thousand times.
If you do not clean your plate, you would not get any dessert.
If you do not stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!
If you are too full to finish your dinner, you are too full for dessert.
I will treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
I am going to give you until the count of three...
I am not always going to be around to do these things for you.
I am not running a taxi service.
I am not your maid!
Is your homework finished?
It is no use crying over spilt milk.
I have had it up to here with you.
Leave your sister (brother) alone!
Little pitchers have big ears.
Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
Never try on anyone else's glasses or you will go blind.
No, I do not know where your socks are; it is not my day to watch them!
Now, come back downstairs and go back up without stomping your feet!
Now, say you are sorry...and mean it!
Running away? Do not let the door hit you in the rear.
Running away? I will help you pack.
Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!!
The apple does not fall far from the tree.
Think of those poor starving children in India... (or China, or Africa.)
Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
Watch your language!
Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a pitcher?
What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
When did your last slave die?
When you have kids of your own you will understand.
Where are you going?
Who are you going with? Do I know them?
Who do you think you are?
Who said life was going to be easy?
Why? Because I said so, that is why!
You are getting on my last nerve.
You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
You can go out to play...after you have done your homework.
You cannot judge a book by its cover.
You could have called.
You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
You just ate an hour ago!
You made your bed, now lie in it.
You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
You will eat it, and you will like it!
You would forget your head if it was not attached to your shoulders!
You will always be my baby.
Your father is going to hear about this when he gets home!
You are the oldest. You should know better.
The last one was special as I was an only child but thought maybe once in awhile my imaginary friend would be accountable.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Mother's Day 3
Another tidbit as we come to the celebration of Mother's Day.
Things Mom would never say:
“How on earth can you see the television sitting so far back?”
“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”
“Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look more cheery.”
“Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it’s good for another week.”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, Honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”
“Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s okay, that’s good enough for me.”
“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
“I don’t have a tissue with me .... just use your sleeve.”
“Don’t bother wearing a jacket — the wind chill is bound to improve.”
Thank God that mothers don't say the above.
Things Mom would never say:
“How on earth can you see the television sitting so far back?”
“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”
“Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look more cheery.”
“Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it’s good for another week.”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, Honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”
“Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s okay, that’s good enough for me.”
“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
“I don’t have a tissue with me .... just use your sleeve.”
“Don’t bother wearing a jacket — the wind chill is bound to improve.”
Thank God that mothers don't say the above.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Mother's Day 2
This weekend is often a weekend where flowers and cards are sent throughout the nation and even thoughout the world. There are times that one is so busy that the idea of just sending a card or flowers seems to be the best one can do and at times that is true. But nothing is the same as actually taking the time to spend with family. I want to share this illustration from Homiletics.
A man stopped at a shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived 200 miles away. As he got out of his car, he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing. He asked her what was wrong, and she replied, “I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have 75¢, and a rose costs $2.”
The man smiled and said, “Come on in with me. I’ll buy you a rose.” He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother’s flowers. As they were leaving, he offered to take the girl home.
She said, “Yes, please! You can take me to my mother.” She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.
The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the 200 miles to his mother’s house.
Take time this week to let your loved ones know how much you care for them. Remember those who have returned home to God in prayers and also to remember the legacy that they have given.
A man stopped at a shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived 200 miles away. As he got out of his car, he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing. He asked her what was wrong, and she replied, “I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have 75¢, and a rose costs $2.”
The man smiled and said, “Come on in with me. I’ll buy you a rose.” He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother’s flowers. As they were leaving, he offered to take the girl home.
She said, “Yes, please! You can take me to my mother.” She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.
The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the 200 miles to his mother’s house.
Take time this week to let your loved ones know how much you care for them. Remember those who have returned home to God in prayers and also to remember the legacy that they have given.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Mother's Day
Mother's Day is May 9, 2010
Anna Jarvis: Founder of Mother's Day
By Erik Alsgaard*
Ann Reeves Jarvis
Anna Jarvis
Anna Jarvis wanted to honor and celebrate mothers, even though she herself was not one.
In 1905, Jarvis vowed to dedicate her life to establishing a day to honor all mothers, just as her own mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, had tried to do.
Reeves Jarvis, a member of St. Andrew's Methodist Church in Grafton, W. Va., had begun her efforts by launching a “Mother’s Work Day” in 1858. There, she fought for better sanitation standards in her town. She expanded those efforts during the Civil War to advocate for better sanitary conditions for soldiers on both sides of the conflict. After the war, Reeves Jarvis threw her weight behind reconciliation efforts. Mother's Day Shrine
By Erik Alsgaard*
Mother's Day Shrine is formerly St. Andrew's Methodist Church, Gafton, W.Va.
Since 1908, a celebration for mothers has taken place at the International Mother’s Day Shine, formerly St. Andrew's Methodist Church in Grafton, W.Va. where Anna Jarvis was a member, and where her mother Ann Reeves Jarvis taught for 20 years.
Though it no longer houses a congregation, the Shrine offers tours for visitors and guests three days a week, mid-April to mid-October.
The Shrine also hosts an annual Mother’s Day service, which will be held at 2 p.m. on May 9, 2010. At that time, the Grafton area “Mother of the Year” will be honored, carrying on the 102-year old tradition. At other times of the year, the Shine hosts educational opportunities for the community, helping people with everything from how to draw up a will to celebrating U.S. history. The Shrine is also used for weddings (six are booked so far for 2010).
Anna Jarvis
The following year St. Andrew's held a special Sunday service to honor mothers. Jarvis gave up her job—reportedly, she was either a teacher or a clerk—to work full-time advocating for a national Mother’s Day. She was able to enlist the World Sunday School Association in the lobbying campaign, a critical factor in convincing legislators in the U.S. Congress to support the holiday, which it did in 1914.
After Mother’s Day was established, Jarvis campaigned against its commercialization. In a press release critical of the floral industry, Jarvis wrote, "What will you do to route charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers, kidnappers and other termites that would undermine with their greed one of the finest, noblest and truest movements and celebrations?"
Jarvis’ criticisms against the florist industry came as florists were quickly realizing the potential profit in selling flowers on Mother’s Day, and which had written in a trade publication, Florists’ Review, “This was a holiday that could be exploited."
Jarvis next filed suit against New York Governor Al Smith over a Mother's Day celebration. When the suit was thrown out, she protested and was arrested for disturbing the peace. In the 1930’s, she disrupted a meeting of the American War Mothers, protesting their sale of white carnations for Mother's Day. She had to be removed by the police.
And if you’re thinking of sending a greeting card instead of flowers, Jarvis wouldn’t be too pleased, either. Jarvis said greetings cards were “a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write." In the end, Anna Jarvis died penniless in a Philadelphia nursing home. Her bills were all paid for by the Florists Exchange.
—Erik Alsgaard is a freelance journalist in Lakeland, Fla.
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The Flyer • May 2010 • Issue 5 • Volume 41 • www.gcsrw.org
As one can see Anna Jarvis would not be pleased with the Hallmark day that we have made this Sunday. One alternative to cards and flowers would be to take that money and donate it to a favorite charity of your mother's in her name.
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