I had stated to several people that I would blog on a daily basis.  Now I have found that I have not been following through with that and need to get back on track.  As I have thought about the reasons that I have not been writing, I find that all I have are excuses.  So here I am late on a Monday night writing.

I have been thinking a lot about where I am in my journey of faith.  As Lent approaches, one of the things that I reflect on is how would I react to the journey that Jesus approached in those last days of his pre-resurrection ministry.  Sometimes it is easy to judge the disciples who seemed to never get it.  but if I am honest there are many times that I never get it.  Sometimes I feel that I am trying to do things on my own and in so doing crowd out the Holy Spirit.  An example is when I am tempted to think that I am in control of what I am doing.  When I think about how the disciples tried to control Jesus to conform to what they believed to be true, I know that I do that also.  Letting go is so difficult in our lives and especially in my life.  I want to control what happens even if what I want is for the glory of God.  I know that it is only in surrender that what God wills will happen.  In bible study, we were looking at the entry into Jerusalem and according to the gospel of John when the Greeks wanted to see Jesus he talked about that those who love their life will lose it and those who hate their life will have life everlasting.  It is in the letting go and allowing God in that will make life bearable.  I have been working on that surrender in my eating, my exercise, my finances, and now working on that same attitude with my spiritual life.

When I give up control (which I really don't have), I can actually do more and be more effective in using the gifts that God has bestowed on me.  The struggle is to remember.  Maybe that is why I am emphasizing so much the need for me to be accountable and to employ the spiritual disciplines.  By prayer, scripture, small groups, communion, fasting I find that I am able to continue to be faithful and fruitful.  So here I go once again to work towards using my blog as a journal and to reflect on my journey.  I hope that in that process others may find some insight into their journeys also.