Monday afternoon thoughts

There are times when I take time to contemplate where I am in my life and where I appear to be going.  I often think about what life would have been like if I had made different choices.  No matter what I could have done or the choices that I could have made, I am very content with where I am and what I am doing.  Not saying that there are not challenges and days, but I am thankful for what God has given me and the opportunities to use those gifts both as a social worker and as a pastor.

Sometimes life can be lived with so many regrets about what could have been or even what should be, that one stops living altogether.  Then life becomes a burden and sometimes a person can be a burden to others.  Regrets never serve any real purpose especially if one hangs onto them.  Rather use the regrets as a way of learning and letting go.  That is why repentance is so important to all of us.  It is in that willingness to admit what we have done and seeking forgiveness that releases us to continue to live more fruitfully.

I also wanted to share from one of my devotional books, "Disciplines."  This is based on the scriptures from 2 Kings 5:1-14.  It is the story of Naaman.  Naaman has leprosy and is told to seek out a prophet from Israel who will cure him.  The gist of the story is that Naaman first goes to the king of Israel who is unable to help him and finally Elisha tells him to wash in the Jordan River.  Naaman at first is disgusted and begins to walk away but a servant encourages him to do what Elisha tells him.  When he does, he is cured.

Johnny Sears commenting on that quotes from Thomas Merton, "What is the use of praying if at the moment of prayer, we have so little confidence in God that we are too busy planning our own kind of answer to prayer?"  Sears states that we also spend much time trying to figure things out in the way we are going to do it rather than opening up to what God would do.  He states that "Prayer is about trust.  Without trust, our prayers are nothing more than self-help exercises."

I know that for myself that is so true.  There are times that when I pray, I am expecting God to answer the prayer in the way I want God to answer.  Much like Naaman, I expect some miraculous event rather than something so simple as washing in a dirty river.  Yet, what is required is that trust in God.  Maybe that is why when I look at my life and the many twists and turns, it has been when I have more fully trusted in God's direction that life has gone more smoothly for me.  I need to continue to place my trust in God and not others or in the worldly things so that I can continue my journey.

That is why I am planning on trying to do something different not only for myself but also in being more faithful to God with the church.  I continue to pray for God's Will be done not mine.