This is
supposed to be my Tuesday musings, but is really my Wednesday wanderings. Today
has been the coldest day of this winter. Living in an apartment has been a
unique experience especially in an apartment complex in a larger community.
People tend to live in their cubicles, isolated and sometimes I wonder if they are
afraid or suspicious of others. When I say hello and even offer my name, it
seems that they are hesitant to respond (though they often do). One way of breaking
the ice and actually get to talk is to speak to their animals and learn names
through constant contact. I see this often as the microcosm of the world
outside of our complex. I can see this even in churches and have experienced in
churches that I have visited. If they are not aware that I am a retired pastor
or former District Superintendent, I rarely feel welcomed. This is not
dependent on the size of the church or even to some extant the pastor. Thankfully,
Nancy and I have found a church that works well on welcoming, but even so there
can be the tendency to once you sit down to not speak to those sitting next to
you. I have found this to be true in urban, suburban, and rural areas. Being an
introvert, I can be comfortable with not being overly communicative. I have
been working on that and being a pastor has forced me out of shell. It is an
area that churches and ourselves can continue to work. In fact, I believe that
churches that are growing in many areas of the state and conference, are those
that work intentionally on hospitality and connecting people to people.
This
month, Water’s Edge will be looking at relationships. This is appropriate for February.
I often look at those who are in committed relationships that have lasted a
number of years. I marvel at how people adapt to one another. I have compared
ideas that can lead to long-term relationshipswhen I do wedding homilies-or least for some- to a three-legged stool. The seat
of the stool is love which is the foundation that ties everything together. I am
not talking about the feeling of love, but the love that incorporates the
physical aspect, the emotional aspect, and most importantly the spiritually
aspect (agape). Love is not a feeling that comes and goes, it is a choice an
act of volition. Those who have been able to be in any long-term relationship
experience the need to wake up thanking God and choosing to be in love again. This
even applies to those who are not now in a relationship or have experienced
loss of a relationship. I find it is important to thank God for the love that
has been given to each of us and to thank the creator, the giver of love, and
the sustainer of that relationship.
Love has
been so emphasized in our society especially sexualized. All you need to do is
go to the self-help books about finding the right man or woman. The number of
dating sites that one can go to find your partner. To be alone, whether dating
or not, is an anathema. Many have tried to describe love whether in poetic
language or prose. So many much better than I could ever do. The best that I have
read and re-read comes from a letter to the Corinthians that Paul wrote about
love, 1 Corinthians 13. In our study of Revelation, one of the resources stated
that a “church without love is dead.” In the day to day of being with someone
or even in a church, what Paul has to say is instructive for all of us.
The three
legs of the stool are caring, commitment, and communication. These will be
musings for February. Until then stay warm, stay committed, and most of all
stay in love with God and neighbor as yourself.
Eldon
