Good
afternoon for my Tuesday musings. Once again here in Nebraska, snow, wind, ice
and bitter wind chills are the name of the game. Besides the outside weather, I
also have been under the weather as well. I did want to continue blogging and
not fall out the habit so soon. So I will continue my thoughts on loving
relationships with the idea of commitment. This may be shorter than normal so
bear with me.
I didn’t
say anything about the stool and the three legs. To have the best balance, you
need all three legs. You can get by with two but it isn’t sturdy and certainly
not balanced. With just one leg, it is almost impossible to keep the
relationship afloat. But like with any metaphor, there are limitations and
other factors that make relationships strong. These would include trust, faith,
and treating each other with respect and honor. Some of this, I will talk about
next week. Today the focus will be on commitment.
What I mean
about commitment, is the willingness to keep your promises and your vows. This does
not mean that if one is in an abusive relationship-emotional, physical, sexual,
or spiritual-that one should stay in that relationship. In all other
situations, I am reminded by what Jesus stated in Matthew 5:33-37 about vows
which he stated not to do vows. He says instead, “Let your yes be yes and your
no be no.” I go further with the idea of vows. They are sacred promises that
one should do everything possible to keep. This includes the vows one takes in
marriage or commitment services, the vow I took as an elder in the UMC. I think
about those who come to our country and take their citizenship vows probably
with more intentionality than many of us who are naturalized. Vows and the
promises one makes is not about just when it is convenient for me. It means standing
by and up for those promises. This includes the promised one makes in baptism
or in joining a congregation.
Today,
it is easier to leave or search for a new relationship than to stay and deal
with the issues of a partnership, congregation, or even work. Commitment is the
willingness to work through conflicts, differences, and feelings that arise out
of personal and social disappointments. Again in the Gospels, Jesus talks more
about how we relate to one another, even with the way we relate to money, than
any other subject including sexual identity which he never addresses one way or
another. (He did have a lot to say about divorce.)
Commitment
deals with accountability and dependability. If one easily breaks promises,
that affects whether or not one can be trusted. Accountability relates to what
one says and what one does. Can that person be depended on to do what they say
they will do? Commitment is vital to all relationships and certainly a major
foundation along with communication for the seat of love. Next week, I will
talk about caring. This incorporates sharing and compassion for one another.
Till then,
Eldon
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